Priorities
by milford
Summary: A story where Hutch is still trying to deal with the aftermath of the Fix.  Some reference to drugs and violence, but mostly angst and certainly nothing graphic. I've rated it K to be safe because of drug references.  Chapter 4 is up. STORY COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

S&H do not belong to me and no profit is being made.

This is a story set after The Fix. Some violence and reference to Hutch's drug addiction but nothing graphic. It is primarily from Hutch's POV. Hope you enjoy.

PRIORITIES

By Milford

CHAPTER 1

Hutch wandered slowly along the track, thinking about his life and the recent ordeal he'd only barely survived. It had been a big mistake falling in love with Jeannie, a woman who was loved by the crime boss, Ben Forrest, and it had led him into the worst nightmare he could have imagined. Memories of that terrible time, and being shot up with heroin, and then the withdrawal, still shook him, even though several weeks had now passed. Forrest hadn't messed around when it came to seeking revenge and he knew he'd been very fortunate to survive, but he was still paying a price and he wondered when it would end, or even if it would. If it hadn't been for his best friend, and partner, Starsky, he would have been finished and wouldn't even have had the strength to try, but Starsky was standing by him as always, always caring and supporting him as only his partner knew how. But despite this unstinting support and love, Hutch knew he was still struggling to come to terms with it all. He'd managed to kick his brief addiction but emotionally he was shattered and experiencing a great deal of difficulty in pulling himself together. Recovery just wasn't coming easily this time.

As Hutch continued his walk down the wooded track, his thoughts continued.

Part of the fear he was still experiencing was the fear of discovery. Apart from being an intensely private man, he knew he'd be finished in the Department if the truth came out and he was terrified of fingers being pointed at him and being accused of being a junkie. The fact that the heroin had been forced on him, and that this catastrophe wasn't even his fault, brought little him little comfort as he was cynical enough to know fingers would be pointed. He couldn't bring himself to consider the effect this would have on his family, on what his father would have to say. That was a problem that he just couldn't bring himself to face.

The anxiety and stress that he was experiencing was causing him to become very short-tempered and nervous. References to drugs made him particularly anxious and he was reacting badly to people's comments. Being cops he and Starsky were often brought into contact with drugs but he was finding it increasingly difficult to cope. The strain was starting to take a toll and he was becoming volatile, and his moodiness and depression were increasing as time passed. He could see the effect he was having on Starsky, who was openly worried about him, he couldn't seem to snap out of it. He was so very tired, tired of worrying about everything and everyone, about whether the truth would come out, about losing his job, and the burden of this enormous strain was becoming too heavy for him to carry. In his mind he knew he'd been the victim, that he hadn't asked for this to happen to him, but the reality was if the truth emerged, it could result in the end of everything that was most important. He'd worked very hard to achieve what he had in the Department and he was proud of what he'd done. He didn't want to lose anything and didn't want to face his family as a failure. He'd not even been able to seek proper medical attention and the withdrawal had been extremely difficult and painful for him. He shuddered to think where he'd be without his partner, Starsky. Starsky had stood by him for every second, showing no resentment or anger when he'd lashed out at him and even now, his steadfast and loyal friend was with him. But still the nightmare continued and even Starsky couldn't help him deal with the inner demons he seemed to be battling every second of the day.

The feeling of gloom was increasing and he couldn't bring himself to care about anything. Doing anything took an almighty effort. and if it hadn't been for Starsky's persistence, he kne he would have given up. The only way he could get through each day was to become tough and seemingly untouchable, but as he hardened himself, he had started to become reckless. Starsky, of course, could see what was happening, but it was no use. However, things had come to a head during a recent shootout. A rash movement by Hutch had nearly resulted in his being shot. Fortunately only Starsky seen his mistake, but it had resulted in a major blow up. He thought back to their argument.

"What the hell were you thinkin'?, No you weren't thinkin' were you?" He had rarely seen Starsky so furious, and had never been on the receiving end himself, although they did share heated discussions at times. Never before had he felt the full force of Starsky's cold rage against him. He was simply stunned as he watched Starsky pacing up and down and yelling and waving his arms. He couldn't justify himself and he didn't have the energy to even try. He'd been stupid and he knew it. The problem was, he didn't greatly care. He fully understood that Starsky was quite right to rant and rave at him, and he made no attempt to fight back or defend himself. However Starsky had become aware that he was not really getting through to Hutch. He'd grabbed and shaken him but Hutch had remained motionless.

"THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT!" and he turned around and stormed out of Hutch's apartment, slamming the door with considerable force. Hutch knew that he'd screwed up but it didn't matter to him. What's the point, he thought. He knew Starsky would be back once he calmed down.

A couple of hours later, Starsky did return.

"Right buddy, we are on vacation NOW."

"What?" Hutch looked up at him "Dobey approved leave?"

"Sure did when I laid it on the line."

"Well, I don't want a vacation."

"Bad luck, you've got one! I ain't gonna watch you kill yourself. We're gonna take time off and try to get our heads around what's goin' on. What's more, you're gonna take me campin'!" The last comment caused Hutch to react.

"Camping?" he queried. He was amazed that Starsky had come up with camping for he hated the wilderness with as much passion as Hutch loved it.

"Yeah, but be nice to me, eh?" Hutch grinned slightly, maybe this wasn't such a bad idea.

Walking along the track, and soaking in the peace that he always felt when outdoors, he could even find it in his heart to be grateful and a small smile softened the lines of tension in his face as he recalled the scene. His partner was volatile but he was the best friend he could hope to have. He was touched that Starsky still cared enough to bring him out here, especially considering how much he hated the outdoors. If Starsky had chosen the vacation spot, he would have chosen some resort near the beach and bikini clad women. The wilderness had been chosen to help him and Hutch couldn't help but be moved by the gesture. He chuckled to himself at the thought of Starsky checking his tent for creepy crawlies that night. He knew that he was not being much of a partner or friend to Starsky at this time, but it took all his energy just to get through the day. However the magic of the outdoors was already starting to work and as he started to relax, he could feel something in him starting to revive. He looked at his watch and saw that it was getting near dinner time and Starsky was doubtless starving hungry. He figured that since he'd wandered off by himself, whilst Starsky sat in his tent, with a book and some beer, trying to hide from the nasties, the least he could do was turn up and help cook dinner.

He turned to go back to their campsite. He was so immersed in his thoughts that he didn't hear anyone approaching him until he felt the cold metal of a gun pointed in his neck.

"Stop right there, Hutchinson." He felt his arms roughly grabbed and pulled behind him and bound. A gag and blindfold were placed on him and he was pushed roughly forward. He made no attempt to fight or get away, it all seemed like too much of an effort. He couldn't even take a vacation without finding trouble. He was pushed into the back of a car and was driven away. What the hell was going to happen now?


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

The drive was a bumpy one but it didn't seem very long before the car stopped. Bracing himself as he felt his legs grabbed, Hutch was roughly pulled out of the car and he landed hard on the ground. He was soon hauled up and dragged a small distance before being pushed to the ground. The ropes binding his hands were not too tight, but he made no effort to get away. He felt someone grabbing his ankles and tying them firmly before he was pulled into a sitting position. The blindfold was then ripped away from him, leaving him blinking and disoriented. The gag remained in place. Trying to orient himself, it took a few seconds before he could focus, and he shuddered at what was in front of him on a table. There was a chair on either side of the table, but what shook him to his core was what was on the table - drug equipment all ready for use. Oh God, he was going to be shot up again and he knew he wouldn't have the strength to fight back.

The voice of one of his kidnappers was behind him and he flinched at the harsh words.

"We're going to destroy you, Hutchinson. We've been watching you over the last few months, since your last trip and we've been planning what to do. You didn't think Mr Forrest was about to give up, did you? We followed you out here and have arranged this little outing for you." Hutch felt the nausea growing in him.

"You're gonna regret ever crossing the path of Mr Forrest. We're gonna destroy you and what you value most." The footsteps turned and retreated leaving the blond detective to ponder his fate.

Hutch wearily looked around trying to gauge where he was. It was a log cabin, but he had no idea where he was. He had no idea how far he'd been brought, but it was painfully obvious why. An experimental wriggle against his ropes was useless. He'd always known this day would come, the day when he'd have to face his demons again. It was inevitable. Maybe it was better for it all to be over with – living with the fear of discovery was proving to be destructive and he was barely functioning in his job adequately. It was probably better that he die now than to risk his partner's life again. If things went on as they had been, he knew it was only a question of time before he did do something stupid, something that would risk Starsky's life and he knew that was something he would never forgive himself for. If Starsky died because of him, well that was just not something he could deal with. Thinking about Starsky brought him to thinking about what his disappearance and death would do to him and it was his one real regret. He wished he could talk to him again, to explain, but then how could he explain what he didn't understand himself. He laid his head back down on the ground, not wanting to look at the drug paraphernalia any longer and seemingly resigned to his fate.

After several hours, with the cold starting to creep into him, he was startled at the sound of people returning. The door was pushed open and to his utter horror, he saw three men dragging a struggling Starsky through. He'd been bound, gagged and blindfolded and there was much evidence that he'd put up a major struggle. Bruises visible on his face and through his torn shirt. His abductors threw him down so that he lay a few feet in front of Hutch. He landed on his stomach and Hutch could see the cruel ropes cutting into his wrists. Giving him a swift, hard kick in the side, they turned and left the room. This had more of an effect on Hutch than anything that had happened so far and he started to struggle with his ropes, trying not to be obvious. They had to get out of this, his instinct for survival started to revive. He had to save Starsky. His bonds were not overly tight, unlike Starsky, so with a bit of luck he'd be able to work himself free. He tried to wriggle over to make contact with Starsky but before he could, the men had returned. One leaned down to cut the rope tying his ankles and he was hauled up and pushed over to a chair. The other man grabbed Starsky in a similar manner and he was pushed into the other chair which was facing Hutch.

"You see, Hutchinson, we've been watching you very carefully and have figured out that this will hurt you more than anything else we could do." Hutch was truly horrified, they were going to get to him through Starsky. But he still did not grasp the full reality until one of the men grabbed a rubber tourniquet and tied it around Starsky's arm. He felt like he was going to throw up--they were obviously going to pump his partner full of drugs and all he could do was watch.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Starsky had been taken by surprise at their campsite but had fought back as strongly as he had been able. His head was reeling from the sudden attack and he was dazed and sore as he was pushed into the chair. The ropes were bound very tightly around his wrists and legs as punishment to his frantic fight. He'd had little time to work out who or why he'd been grabbed but he realized they must have been followed. The likelihood of them running into thugs in the wilderness as a coincidence seemed highly unlikely. He only hoped Hutch was safe…knowing how much his partner was still suffering from the recent ordeal was an overwhelming worry and he knew Hutch wasn't in good shape to put up a fight.

_"You see, Hutchinson, we've been watching you very carefully and have figured out that this will hurt you more than anything else we could do." _

Starsky tensed at the words. Surely Hutch wasn't caught. He flinched as he felt something being tied around his upper arm. He was slightly disoriented and confused and tried to focus on what was happening. He tensed as he felt another pair of hands grabbing his shoulders to hold him down.

"Keep still pig!" The blindfold was ripped off suddenly and it took a few seconds for Starsky's vision to clear. Looking around dazedly he became aware of several things which caused his heart to drop. His partner and best friend was similarly tied up and sitting opposite him. As he stared directly into Hutch's eyes, he was relieved to see the blue eyes appalled but alert. Thank God, they hadn't hurt him, not yet. The second thing he noticed was the table next to him full of drug equipment. It was suddenly all too apparent what had been tied around his arm – a tourniquet. He felt sick as he realized what it meant.

"You see, pig, you'e going on a long, long trip. Your partner," he smirked at Hutch, "will join you - maybe – eventually."

Hutch was working frantically at his bonds. He could feel the ropes loosening but it wasn't fast enough. The thought of Starsky going through what he had was enough to send him over the edge and gave him added determination. He knew first hand the damage drugs could do and he knew he had to prevent it. At least Starsky had been able to help him through the hell. If Starsky was shot up, then he'd have no one. He knew he would be kept alive to watch Starsky's deterioration into drug addiction, but being Forrest's men, he couldn't believe that he would be allowed to survive this. The numbness which had encompassed him since his previous capture was finally starting to melt away only to be replaced with a burning rage against Forrest and himself. How could he have been so stupid? He'd spent weeks worrying about being kicked out of the department, or of being called a junkie, to the extent that it had nearly paralysed him. All that crap didn't matter, it simply didn't. Starsky being killed, or being forced to endure a similar agony, did. The goons had realized this before he had and Forrest had found the ultimate way to hurt him as much as possible. The rage was rapidly becoming overwhelming as he continued to struggle against his bonds.

Starsky watched the syringe being prepared with fascinated horror. He'd seen his partner go through hell and he was terrified that he wouldn't have the strength and determination Hutch had shown. Still, if he could take this crap instead of him, then he would. He only wished he could believe Hutch would be spared but he very much doubted it. Hutch was going to be forced to watch and then would either be killed or given another trip himself. He closed his eyes as he felt the tourniquet tighten, he didn't want to see Hutch's face as the needle went in. The man holding his shoulders down moved to wrap his arm around his neck, holding him firmly in a headlock. He found himself praying as the tourniquet was tightened further. He knew this was it and he stiffened in preparation for the hit.


	4. Chapter 4

Final Chapter. Thank you for your reviews. This was always only intended to be a short story although as I started posting I soon realized I could have taken it further.

CHAPTER 4

Starsky braced himself for the injection, praying he'd have the strength of his partner to endure the hell of heroin. He wished he'd taken the time to tell Hutch how much he admired his strength but it was too late now. He took a deep breath in preparation for the needle prick and tried to prepare himself. But instead of the expected injection, he felt himself fall over backwards and his last moment of awareness was as his head hit the table.

Hutch had watched the thugs preparing his partner for the injection and his fury had rapidly become overwhelming. He'd been working on loosening his ropes and the frenzy he felt as he watched the syringe being pointed towards Starsky's arm gave him the extra strength he needed to break loose, and he threw himself forward with such force that all five of them ended up on the ground. Afterwards he wasn't able to remember exactly how he'd overpowered three of them but somehow he managed, the desperation giving him the determination to do so. Starsky and the man holding his shoulders had fallen and were unconscious after hitting their heads on the table. A frantic punch to the man holding the syringe saw him collapse to the ground and despite the continuing confusion Hutch grabbed the dreaded syringe and threw it far away. The third man had been stunned by the unexpected reaction, but quickly reached for his gun. Hutch was quicker, and soon kicked out at him, managing to trip him up and subdue him.

After making sure they were all under control, he turned his attention to the unconscious figure of Starsky. He quickly removed his own gag and untied and ungagged his partner, carefully moving him right away from the drugs. He equally quickly removed the rubber tourniquet and tossed it away. Feeling sick and shaken he gently patted Starsky's face trying to rouse him.

"Hey, buddy, you okay?" Hutch spoke quietly, slightly relieved to see signs of returning consciousness.

"Hutch?" Starsky was starting to recover. Hutch had gently lifted Starsky's head into his lap and as he watched his partner struggling to wake up, he fully understood for the first time how badly he'd been screwed up. He'd been so worried about losing his career and reputation but what the hell did they matter? He thought they mattered more than anything in the world to him, but he'd been wrong, very very wrong. How could he have missed the obvious. He'd rather lose it all than have to watch Starsky suffer drug addiction, or for that matter, suffer anything. Forrest and his thugs had seen what he'd been too blind to see. He wouldn't make the same mistake again. Life was difficult at times, and cruel, but it came down to having priorities straight.

Starsky was recovering his equilibrium and tried to pull himself up, wincing as he moved. He turned to look at Hutch who wasted no time in speaking.

"I'm sorry, buddy." Hutch looked directly into the tired, but thankfully clear, blue eyes.

"It's okay." Despite his confusion over what had happened, Starsky felt the apology from Hutch had little to do with their recent ordeal.

"No it isn't. I've been wallowing in self pity and fear, and jumping at shadows and totally lost sight of what's most important. Not my damn job..." he broke down. At long last the tears came and all of Hutch's fears and emotions were released, instead of remaining bottled up and strangling him. Starsky put his arms around him and pulled him into a bear hug, hating to see him like this but knowing a turning point had at last been reached. His partner was on the way back.

"It's okay, blondie, it's okay…" For the first time in a very long time, Starsky felt it would be.

---

Later that day, after clearing up the mess and taking the men into custody and to the nearest jail, they drove back to their campsite. Hutch had wanted Starsky to get checked by a doctor, but Starsky refused. He'd only suffered minor cuts and bruises and his head hardly hurt him, or so he said, and he hadn't been unconscious for very long. As he said, somewhat ironically, he'd suffered much worse injuries. Hutch had his doubts about the wisdom of bypassing a doctor, but he recognized the determined glint in Starsky's eyes and he wasn't willing to start a huge argument about it. He had every intention of keeping his eye on his stubborn partner and he'd make sure he received medical attention if he needed it.

Starsky was just so relieved to see Hutch looking much more like the old Hutch that he was even prepared to complete the camping trip without making too many complaints. Not too many anyway. He knew how much Hutch loved camping and they were still on vacation after all - in fact they had another week away from work. He winced slightly at the thought of the creepy crawlies, but after giving Hutch a quick sideways glance, he guessed he could cope with the horrors of the wilderness to help his friend. He'd always intended to, and it would be cheating to try to use recent events as an excuse. Somehow Hutch had found his way to recovery and he intended to be there with him.

Hutch himself felt like a weight had been lifted from him. Sure he still had to live with the fear that people would find out about his brief addiction, but he now realised that losing his job didn't count in the scheme of things. He knew it would be a terrible thing but not the worst thing that could happen, not by a long shot. He looked at his partner and best friend - there were more important things in life, especially the one constant that he could always count on. He grinned at him.

"Let's go fishing."

Starsky grimaced. "I guess. Nothin' much else to do out here".


End file.
